Tuesday, August 31, 2010

You might be a liberal

If you know gender is a social construct, but have no idea where electricity comes from,
you might be a liberal.

If you think the "evil" of Stalinist regimes is overstated and the tyranny of America is never stated enough,
you might be a liberal.

If you believe portraying Bush as the Joker is political satire, but portraying Obama as the Joker is racist,
you might be a liberal.

If you believe Glenn Beck is an extremist because Keith Olbermann told you so,
you might be a liberal.

If you believe that hurricanes are caused by people, and that crime is caused by the environment,
you might be a liberal.

If you think that treating all people equally, regardless of race, is racist,
you might be a liberal.

If you burn tons of carbon to attend a global warming conference that only sanctions the cleanest nations on Earth,
you might be a liberal.

If you think everyone would agree with you if they were open minded, and you refuse to listen to any other possibility,
you might be a liberal.

If you believe that a mosque should be built at Ground Zero, but Jews shouldn't build apartments in East Jerusalem,
you might be a liberal.

If all of your political arguments contain the phrase, "It's Bush's fault,"
you might be a liberal.

If you believe that Pro-Life violates the right to privacy, but you want to ban french fries,
you might be a liberal.

If you believe that immersing a crucifix in urine is fine art, but depicting the prophet Mohammed is insensitive,
you might be a liberal.

If you think the problem is that Obama is just too darn moderate,
you might be a liberal.

If you spend your day telling people that a border fence can't work, and then drive home to your gated community,
you might be a liberal.

If you think Sarah Palin was too inexperienced to be VP but that Obama had plenty of experience to be President,
you might be a liberal.

If you think the Right needs to be rounded up in camps to prevent them from acting like Nazis,
you might be a liberal.

If you think credit card companies are evil when they lend money, and mortgage companies are evil when they don't,
you might be a liberal.

If you think people have too many kids, and that those kids need to pay for your Social Security,
you might be a liberal.

If you think the Government should be obsessed with race, but no one else should ever mention it,
you might be a liberal.

If you think banks earning money on interest is wrong, but paying interest to China on the national debt is just peachy,
you might be a liberal.

If you think subsidies are an entitlement, tax cuts are a gift, and liberty is a controlled substance,
you might be a liberal.

If you totally hate haters, and wish those bastards would just die,
you might be a liberal.

Hat tip: Stormbringer.

5 comments:

Cathy said...

If you could read all of this post and not see the irrefutable truth - you are either brain dead or a liberal.

Hmmmm . . . Maybe I'm splitting hairs.

Brain dead/ liberal.



I'll go take my blood pressure medication now.

NOvember!!!!

The Western Chauvinist said...

Yay! I passed... er, flunked!

ismellarat said...

It must have been the coup of the century, the day socialists got liberals to give up the word and call them liberals instead.

I'm a liberal (I hate to have to qualify the word with the label "classical") and I believe none of the things listed.

Next, they'll have y'all bowing and using the label reasonable, as in "you might be reasonable if you think..."

I'm also gay and I'm proud. When I'm not grumpy.

For some odd reason, I especially liked this one: ;-)

"If you think everyone would agree with you if they were open minded, and you refuse to listen to any other possibility."

Jody Wilson said...

It's true - leftists are constantly renaming themselves in an ongoing attempt to disown their sordid history. First it was "socialist," then it was "progressive," then "liberal." The latter term is particularly ironic for the Left to use, because the Latin root "liber" means free, and there would be very little freedom if the Left had their way. Their search for new labels never ends - now they're "green" and "globally conscious."

Cathy said...

Oh yeah! This is worth a re-posting. Wow!